I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
