Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize