If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
