STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
