we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
