And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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