please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize