Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
