We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I booty called her while she was in labor.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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