I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
