Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
