That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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