but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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