I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
you made out with another girl for some wings
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
