I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
