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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I murdered the dance floor call the cops

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV

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• (979): View more from Texas

  Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other

  (1-979): View more from Texas

  LOL its 11 am

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.

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