Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
