Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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