You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
