You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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