This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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