Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
