Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
honey bunches of taint.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
