so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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