the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
