The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
