I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
