is wine microwaveable?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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