I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
