I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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