i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
