Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
