Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
