; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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