it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
no you cant smoke seaweed
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
