i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
