Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
