If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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