So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
