I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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