I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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