Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Do you still have your period?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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