He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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