So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he quoted the bible to break up with me
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize