it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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