woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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