Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
