I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I wear drunk well.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
