I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
