i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize