So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
