Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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