hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So vagazzling was a success
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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