I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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