i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
