I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
