Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
