i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
