i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
