I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize