I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
