Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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